Vacations are a change from routine, and are a great time for reflection.
With current medical progress and innovation, we have access to effective medicines for fatal and debilitating diseases. Our health span is also largely under our control based on our lifestyle. An exception to this control is genetic influence and unfortunate accidents.
I realized that on average:
\( yearsWithoutParents = ourLifespan - ageOfParentsWhenWeAreBorn \) \( ourLifespan \thickapprox 100 \)
Comparing to other living animals, human social structure is the most unique and supportive on earth. We are helpless when we are born, and our parents take care of us for the longest calendar time (18 - 25 years across most cultures).
With the rise of modern nuclear families, there are new social norms of leaving your parents after this time, living and making your own life, and have the rare annual contact with your parents and other siblings.
I think this is a costly mistake, and one which we should carefully reconsider. Our parents are our biggest champions on this world. They nurture us closely for 20-25 years, and know more about us, than our spouse, any therapist we can hope to hire, or even ourselves.
By cutting parents out of our lives, and having infrequent communication, we give up on arguably the most useful feedback and encouragement.
It becomes worse: when we do finally catch up with our parents, we only get to hear criticism, as our parents remain quick to point out our failings, further making us avoid catching up with them.
I hope to amend my ways, and:
- Be more in touch in with parents, filling them in with what is going in my life
- Listen closely to their criticism, as that will be useful feedback for me to think and act on
- Make the most of their limited time left with me
- Be involved with Vanya, as she starts to build her own life
