Behind this short post lies a whole week of tumultuous experiences.
I experience emotions by acting them out: being angry with someone, sad at losing someone, joyous in a beautiful place. I also repress emotions: rejections, judgments, and when not in control. This led me to avoid: confronting people, having difficult conversations and even social gatherings.
Instead, I want to learn to be at peace with my emotions, as and when they arise. I hope to gain an understanding:
- Like me, other people could be rejecting a proposal, and that does not mean I got rejected
- To make bold changes, I need to be vulnerable to rejections, judgments, learning, and failure
Recently, I had an event take place where I was at a complete loss of autonomy and control. It was a difficult feeling, and made worse with me observing pain of my colleagues, and turbulent thoughts plagued my mind.
Forgiveness allowed me to feel and process my anger, helplessness, and sadness. I was able to channel my actions in helping my colleagues process changes, and share constructive thoughts.