In 2020, the world changed overnight. Conference rooms became kitchen counters, watercooler chats turned into chat boxes, and our wardrobes quietly redefined “business casual.”

Zoom, Teams, Google Meet, Webex went from “nice‑to‑have” to cultural artifact in weeks. Yet the old rules of social chemistry didn’t copy‑paste cleanly. In a 1‑to‑1 video call there’s nowhere to hide, no pastry table to rescue you, and definitely no way to pretend you “just happened to bump into” your boss.

This post is about that moment and what I learned, sometimes the hard way, about showing up, being present, and building human connection through a tiny lens and an animated picture in a rectangle.

Mirror energy and shift it forward

Start by matching their tone and pace. If they’re talkative and upbeat, let your voice and body language mirror that. If they’re calm and measured, meet them with a relaxed pace.

But don’t stop there. If their energy feels low flat tone, short answers, distracted gaze, then transition into a subtle three‑step shift:

1. Meet them where they are.

  • “Feels like a long day already?”
  • “Is your calendar as packed as mine today?”

2. Understand how they got there.

  • “What’s been the highlight of your day so far?”
  • “Anything interesting come up before this call?”

3. Nudge the energy forward.

  • “I’ve been looking forward to this—our chats always energize me.”
  • “Let’s make these next 15 minutes the best part of our day.”

Specifics matter

Do not ask generic questions, instead prepare for your 1:1 by asking specific questions that signals to the other person that you took the time to have a good conversation.

  • Generic: “How has your week gone so far?”
  • Upgraded: “Saw your Slack update on the release—congrats! What surprised you during rollout?”

Cameras on, Eyes up

Shy background? Use a virtual one. Drag the call window under your webcam so it looks like you possess super‑human eye contact.

Listen > Talk and Embrace pauses

Aim for 65% listening/ 35% talking. Couple of seconds of pause is more than enough. Echo back what you’ve heard, this is only useful for them, and it also ensures that your understanding of their narrative is correct.

Micro-react not Multi-task

The emoji 👍 is today’s nod. The 😂 saves a thousand “LOL”s. Close Slack and other tabs—the click‑clack of typing gives you away immediately.

Collaborate by co-creating and aligning

Fire up a Google Doc or Notion page, type bullets live, and invite edits:

> “Feel free to add or correct as I type.”

Instant record, instant alignment, zero “Wait, what did we decide?”

Always follow up

A two‑line note, a helpful link, or a quick status ping keeps momentum alive.